A young man goes to a life coach in order to seek help with his nerves.
Made as an entry for the 2012 Dundee 48 Hour Film Project.
Was written, shot and edited within 48 hours by:
Nick Edwards – Editor/Camera Operator/Writer
Karl Henry – Actor/Producer/Writer
Iain Mitchell – Actor/Producer/Writer
Steven Tait – Director/Camera Operator/Writer
Stuart Wilkie – Actor/Sound Operator/Writer
I recently realised that many of you may have questions or ‘life problems’ that I in my infinite wisdom would be able to solve for you. Hence for this reason I have created the very FAQ you now read before you. Below I am sure are many answers to questions you are all undoubtedly curious to know. If there is anything that I have not not covered in the FAQ please feel free to ask. After all I only wish to make your life better. However I do pass this warning do not ask a question twice as it could threaten the very existence of the universe. Also I don’t care to repeat myself so pay attention.
What is your secret identity?
This is the most the most frequently asked question I get asked. I am however afraid it is one I can not answer, for reasons far too numerous and complex for anyone to understand. I fear that if the world where to know my true identity, then I would not be able to do the great work that I have set out too.
Why is it you can not reveal your secret identity?
See above. I have already said I do not care to repeat myself.
Are you immortal?
Yes I am in fact immortal. However this is not a theory I have ever put to the test, on the slim chance that I might be wrong.
Is there anything you can not do/know?
Yes there are three things. I can’t Wiggle my ears, never been able to do it, I don’t know why. I have also spent many years without success trying to think of a third thing I can’t do.
Are you God?
Alas this is not for me to decide, for I am but merely a man, If I am to be a God it is because you my followers have decided it so.
Why are the bee’s disappearing?
I felt that black and yellow wasn’t a very good colour combination. I tried to reason with them, but damn it they just wouldn’t listen. I do not regret my decision.
What do you in your spare time?
Time is finite, none is spare. I also have a passion for carpentry and murder mystery novels.
Are the rumours true?
There is only one and yes it is.
What right do I have as a person to ask you a question?
Well my friend you already have and you have every right. It is only natural for you be curious. So much of this world must be a strange and scary place for you. I am here to show you the way, the light. So please ask, ask and ask some more.
What is the meaning of life?
Too be updated as necessary.