>click here<<\/a>\u00a0 (which I recommend doing) or just keep scrolling to read on this page.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n
SC1 EXT. FOOTPATH<\/p>\n
MAN walking down the street. He is being followed by FOLLOW MAN. Whenever MAN looks behind, FOLLOW MAN ducks out of sight. (Badly) This happens several times. Until MAN Says<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Ok seriously, why do you keep doing that?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Doing What?<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Ducking out of the way, whenever I look.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Oh, right. You seen that huh?<\/p>\n
(Pause)<\/p>\n
I get a bit nervous round famous people.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
What?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
I never know what to say. I get a bit worried they might think I\u2019m weird or something.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Yeah. I\u2019m getting that, but I\u2019m not famous. So you know, if you could\u2026<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Come on. I get the need for secrecy and all, but come on. It\u2019s you. The Host With the Most.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
It\u2019s really not.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Tobias, I watch your show every night. Wait I can call you Tobias right?<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Nope. Not my name.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Brilliant I knew you wouldn\u2019t mind.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Ok. Great to meet you, but I\u2019m going to walk this way now.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW<\/p>\n
Oh right yeah, of course. Was really nice to meet you. Tobias.<\/p>\n
MAN walks off muttering weirdo to himself. In the background FOLLOW MAN can be seen pulling a large suitcase out of a hedge. FOLLOW MAN opens the suitcase and takes out a baseball bat. FOLLOW MAN takes a practice swing and seems pleased with the result. FOLLOW MAN runs towards MAN and hits MAN across the head with the bat. MAN is knocked out and falls to the ground. FOLLOW MAN throws the baseball bat away triumphantly. It dawns on FOLLOW MAN what he has just done.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
What have I just done? That bat is going to be absolutely covered in evidence.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN retrieves the bat and drags MAN towards the suitcase. FOLLOW MAN awkwardly shoves MAN into the suitcase. Next we see FOLLOW MAN walk along the footpath, bat over his shoulder and the suitcase (which has wheels) being dragged along beside him.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
SC2 INT. LIVING ROOM<\/p>\n
MAN is tied to a chair behind a kitchen table. Behind the table a sheet covers the wall. SPORTSCAST WITH TOBIAS FLYNN has been crudely written across it, an arrow from the Words TOBIAS FLYNN has been painted also. It points to where MAN is sitting. MAN is now wearing a suit. MAN begins to wake up as FOLLOW MAN enters the Living Room; FOLLOW MAN is now wearing a woman\u2019s dress.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Brilliant you\u2019re awake. I was getting worried you\u2019d miss tonight\u2019s show, but nope here you are just in time. Tobias Flynn, the constant professional.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
(Still groggy)<\/p>\n
Huh? Wait. What?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t worry about that Tobias. Just focus on getting ready for the show.<\/p>\n
MAN is still trying to raise his head as FOLLOW MAN is sitting down beside him. FOLLOW MAN misconstrues this as MAN looking at his breasts.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Hey, eyes up here mister. I need you concentrating on the show, not the milk shooters.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Show? What the fuck are you talking about?<\/p>\n
(Looks down and sees that he is wearing different clothes)<\/p>\n
Did you change my clothes?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Well you got blood all over your other ones. Plus you always wear a suit for the show.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
What? Why do you keep talking about a show?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Oh, Shush. We\u2019re about to go live. Just read your queue cards and look at camera three.<\/p>\n
(FOLLOW MAN points at nothing in front of them)<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
What cameras?<\/p>\n
(Squirming)<\/p>\n
Let me the fuck go.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Five. Four.<\/p>\n
(Counts Three, Two, One on his fingers)<\/p>\n
Good evening, it\u2019s Saturday the 8th of May I\u2019m Christina Aguilera and this is the man with the most, the man who likes to boast, my Co-host Tobias Flynn.<\/p>\n
(Pause\u2026 FOLLOW MAN nudges MAN)<\/p>\n
Tobias it\u2019s your line.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Please just let me go.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Ha ha ha, what an odd thing to say.<\/p>\n
(Whispering)<\/p>\n
Just read from the queue cards.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Why are you doing this?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN looks embarrassed and flustered.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
What a funny joke you made there Tobias. HA HA HA. Why don\u2019t we cross over to Gerry at Dundee United for todays match highlights. Ok we\u2019re off the air. Jesus Tobias what the fuck was that? Get your shit together.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
I was supposed to be meeting my girlfriend.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Do you even care how unprofessional that looked?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not Tobias Flynn, I don\u2019t have a sports show. Please just let me go.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
You\u2019re being really weird today. Have you bumped your head of something?<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
(Starts crying)<\/p>\n
Help. Help, please, somebody.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
(Looking of camera at some someone who isn\u2019t there)<\/p>\n
Listen Craig, I don\u2019t know what\u2019s gotten in to him but I can’t work under these conditions.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
You\u2019re absolutely mental.<\/p>\n
WOMAN enters the living room. She is holding shopping bags. She sees what is going on and looks surprised. She drops the shopping bags.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
Tobias?<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
My name\u2019s not Tobias.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
Well of course it\u2019s not. Tobias what the hell is going on in here?<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
I was lied to and very much deceived, by this man here. He has somehow managed to convince me that I am not me, and that he is in fact me.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
I haven\u2019t. I swear I haven\u2019t.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
I know you haven\u2019t sweetie, he does this sort of stuff all the time.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
(to MAN)<\/p>\n
Once, maybe twice a year. Max.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Can I please just go now?<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
(Laughing)<\/p>\n
Oh God no. See if people knew that Tobias got up to this kind of weird shit, his career would be over. I mean can you imagine, his show would be cancelled like<\/p>\n
(Clicks fingers)<\/p>\n
And god, I dread to think of the legal ramifications.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll go get the shovel.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Shovel, what? No you don\u2019t need a shovel. I\u2019m not going to tell anyone.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Dude, come on. You got knocked out by a celebrity. Which by the way how did you not recognize me? I\u2019m sort of a big deal. There are literally billboards all over the city with my face on them. You know what it doesn\u2019t matter. Anyway you got knocked out by a really famous person, with a totally recognizable face, may or may not have had your junk fondled with while unconscious, got tied to a chair and made participate in a fake TV show. Which to be honest you were kind of sucky at. Of course you\u2019re going to tell someone.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
Just go get the damn shovel; I want to get this mess cleared up before dinner.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN grumbles and leaves the room. MAN begins desperately trying to escape from the chair, while shouting repeatedly.<\/p>\n
MAN<\/p>\n
Help.<\/p>\n
WOMAN picks up the baseball bat and walks over to MAN.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
Sorry about this.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
SC3 EXT. FOREST CARPARK NIGHT.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN is dragging a suitcase from the back seat of a car. He looks like something has just dawned on him.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
Forgot to get an autograph.<\/p>\n
CUT TO:<\/p>\n
SC4 EXT. FOREST NIGHT<\/p>\n
WOMAN is carrying the shovel. FOLLOW MAN is pulling the suitcase.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
You should have changed that dress before you came out. You\u2019re going to ruin it.<\/p>\n
FOLLOW MAN<\/p>\n
It\u2019s my dress; I\u2019ll wear it where I like.<\/p>\n
WOMAN<\/p>\n
Ok, but I\u2019m not washing it.<\/p>\n
THE END.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I wrote this script as more of an exercise than anything else, but I was quite pleased with the results. It was intended as a dark comedy, which I hope comes across in the writing. Hopefully one day it will see the light of day and we (Inside the Box) get to film it. On […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-182","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-script"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=182"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":208,"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/182\/revisions\/208"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=182"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=182"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.karlhenry.co.uk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=182"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}